Love Rekindled

Imagine a world in which everyone talks more about love than hate.

No need.

It’s already here.

All you need to do is look for it. Noticing it will help it grow.

I recently attended Elliott Connie’s ‘Rekindling Love’ free online workshop.

It was primarily aimed towards people providing counselling for couples, and even though that isn’t something I do, I found it hugely inspirational.

It included so much invaluable insight into how to be truly respectful and obliging towards people asking for help in turning their lives back around towards a future that is just right for them and everyone they love.

He recounted his experience of meeting a couple who told him they had just got divorced. He asked them what it was they wanted and they said it was for their children to be ok, because they both had so much love for them. He met with them once or twice more, using the solution focused approach, then a year or so later they contacted him again to tell him they were getting re-married!

His part in this happening included holding on, with ‘dogged determination’, to his belief that they were capable of achieving their best hopes, .

fire outdoors camping barbecueHe described what it takes for a practitioner to do this: Letting go of the need to interpret, theorize, educate. Freeing yourself from distractions such as pessimistic doubts, ‘noise’, and the urge to ‘fix it’. Instead, relinquishing control, ‘letting go’, simply believing in the change happening in front of you, drawing on your qualities as a person destined to do this work because of your open, accepting, facilitative nature. Allowing yourself to go in search of the struggle that brings success. Giving yourself permission to become oblivious to tension, and purely and simply focus.

Now I’m not citing this just to show what a brilliant psychotherapist and couples counsellor Elliott is (although I am absolutely certain that he is – one of the very best in the world right now in fact), but to show that even after a catastrophic crisis in people’s lives, anything is possible for them in future, and they can achieve something that seems impossible simply by following their hearts and staying focused on their hopes.

I’m not saying that getting divorced might be a mistake for a couple. Clearly, sometimes that’s the best way forwards for them and can lead to anything they desire. It’s simply their choice.

I’m just saying that whatever choices anyone makes, there’s always hope and endless possibilities for the future, and that Solution Focused Practice is a highly effective and respectful way for practitioners to provide a catalyst for positive change in fewer sessions than would generally be achieved in more ‘traditional’ approaches.

Registration for Elliott’s ‘Rekindling Love Masterclass’, the exhaustive interactive training for professionals who wish to truly master couples counselling (for which this workshop served as a taster) begins on August 13th, and registration is still open for a couple more days at time of writing this. Anyone interested in making the investment to become the best they can at what they do can sign up here:


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